I have been forming a letter in my head to my dad at night's when I have a hard time falling asleep and thought I'd write it down for me to remember.....
Dear daddy, I don't think I'm too old to still call you daddy, am I? Even though I'm 27 now somehow it still feels right. I just wanted to tell you that I still think about you every day. I am sure you are doing all kinds of wonderful things where you are, and I'm sure you've met all kinds of incredible people, but I hope you are able to look down on earth from time to time and watch me and my family. I know I feel your presence sometimes and I hope you hear me when I send you messages through my prayers. I can't believe it's been 10 years since you left. If I try really hard I can still hear the sound of your laugh! I know you were too sick to stay on earth any longer but sometimes I let myself imagine how wonderful it would be if you were still here and were healthy! But it's painful (still!) to think about that for too long so I focus on the ways I know you are watching over me and my sweet children. If you can, please watch over them and help keep them safe and protected. I can't wait for you to meet them. They are so wonderful and precious. Sophie has your kind heart and worries about people who are sick or sad. Nora has your adventurous spirit and is our little "thrill seeker". If you can, would you please see what you can do to change that? And Miles is always making people smile - just like you always did. Brian and I are doing our best to raise the kids to love the gospel. I remember how excited you would get when you were teaching the gospel, it was almost like you weren't sick at all. Do you remember in my letter you said you never worry about me because I always try to choose the right? I promise to keep trying my best so I can see you again. I love you and miss you so much.
P.S. Please give Grandpa Johnson and Chewy a hug and kiss from me!
Love, Lexie
September 18, 2008
Dear dad...
Posted by Alexis at 9:42 AM
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3 comments:
That was a sweet letter. It helped remind me of what truly is important in life. Thanks for that.
That was beautiful sis. It feels so good to just write doesn't it? It's almost like your really letting him know what you are feeling! I miss him so much!! I wish I could be more like you in every way! You are such an inspiration to me. I have not always made the right decisions or been the best example but you have never made me feel bad about the poor choices I have made (well, minus the teenage years!hehe). You are so much like daddy! Always patient, never judging, faith never wavering. I envy you in so many ways! I love you sister and I value our friendship more that you will ever know, you are my best friend! Thank you for always being there for me, I miss you and would do anything for you and your perfect little family!!!
Man I love you more and more everyday! I am so proud of you all. You can call him daddy your whole life! He will be forever perfect in my eyes too! (at least as much as we can be while here on earth!). I know he is watching over our sweet grandchildren. It is so hard sometimes to face this time in my life without him. We always talked about how fun it would be to be grandparents, and here I am without him! Life is so unfair sometimes. I know he is okay now, but that doesn't make the hurt go away! You are still his sunshine! Love you, momma
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